i shouldn't be telling you this...

What's wrong with this picture??

Everything. It's bones. All bones. This is going to sound strange, but I hate bones. Sometimes when I see a picture of a human skeleton, it grosses me out to think those are inside of me. Okay, before you think I'm completely off my rocker, I know I could not survive without bones. That doesn't mean I have to love them. Let's talk about my list of bone no no's.

1. there are certain bones that you never touch. EVER. (please note, i do not know the real names of these bones, so don't get all medical/anatomy on me...) Don't ever touch my shin bone, my forearm bone, my wrist bone or my COLLAR bone. If you touch them, it won't be for long before I move so you are not touching them. if you have the nerve to touch my collar bone, you are flirting with death. I usually jerk/seizure/drop to the floor to avoid this nasty contact. and then you will get a piece of my mind or look of death.

2. I almost die when people lean up against a counter or table and let that forearm bone grind up against the edge. just thinking about that sound almost makes me lose it. don't do that around me, or i will leave the room. and never come back.

3. this takes us back to #1 in a way. ya know how when there are lots of people over to watch a movie and the people sitting on the floor will lean up against the peoples legs sitting on the couch? that is not okay. i will sit indian style. i will sit on the floor. i will stand in the back of the room for the whole movie. but it's not okay for you to put your head (which is one very large bone) on my shin bone. this is called bone on bone and NOT acceptable. don't even try it.

4. when i was little, i thought it would be cool to break a bone. i have grown out of that ridiculous phase of life. if i broke a bone...i don't know what i would do. if i broke a bone and it popped out of my skin? i would just rather die. great, now i'm dryheaving at my desk.

5. this is not a funny list. this is a serious list. when people tend to find out about my fear and dislike towards bones, they think it's funny. they stand next to me and grind their teeth, or make our knuckles touch or something to see how extreme the level of bone hating really is. this is not funny. i usually roll my eyes, say a ha ha, and tell them to never touch me again. don't find yourself in this situation. it's just awkward. awkward for you. awkward for me. but never funny.

the only thing worse than the first picture is this. animal bones. this is just a bad combo all around.