i am a bad dater.
i'm not afraid to admit it. i guess it's better to know that and say it outloud than pretend it "must just be all those weirdos" out there i find myself spending a few hours with here and there. they say the first step is admitting theres an issue....and usually if there is a "first step", then a second step follows, right? i'm assuming the second step is to become a better dater? except i don't really know how to do that.
either it's been really really smart or really really bad that in the past i seem to have dated my friends. friendships turned into relationships? it actually worked...for a while, until it didn't anymore. and before you ask, i have tried online dating before. it didn't end well (like worse than when i dated my friends), so i've kind of decided that i should steer clear of that. i'm not saying i'll never do it again, but for right now its just not my thing.
my most recent problem is i don't know what i want. i have so many people who want to set me up and the first question i get asked is "what are you looking for?" or "what kind of guy do you like?" great question, right? i don't have an answer.
ok, its not like i'm looking for a bum off the streets. to make it simple, i usually tell people at work who ask me:
1- he has to be a boy
2- he has to be single
3- he has to like girls (yes, i have to specify)
4- he has to be mormon
5- please let him already have his education
6- and please don't be a stick in the mud
when it comes to other things? i'm not quite sure. when i look at the people i've dated in the past, they're all different, and i'm trying really hard to never say "he's not my type" or "i would never end up with someone like that"...because without my knowing, maybe they are my type and exactly who i'll end up with.
this makes it a little difficult in my search for mr. right. how do i look when i don't really know what i'm looking for? ok, maybe that's a little extreme, but it's still easy to feel that way sometimes. i find myself meeting people or spending time with people and having a great time, but then coming home and not even knowing how i feel. do i like them? could i like them? and then talking myself out of the idea that they would ever be interested in me, so it's better for me to just leave it alone.
you'd think by 30 i'd have a nice little list of what i'm looking for and what i don't. instead this just confirms that the older i get, the less i know.
Saturday, February 23, 2013
i had plans today. and now it looks like this outside with no sign of sun:
and yeah, i'm standing on my front porch. i don't dare go much further. it snowed a bit yesterday morning, and then the sun came out and melted everything that might have been shoveled. i have high hopes that the same will happen today, but i know in my deep downs that i'll be out in an hour shoveling that stupid driveway.
this winter is a big downer. not good for the soul. and not good for my house. it seems to be falling apart. i feel bad texting my landlord because i just feel like there is more and more to fix. boo.
when you come over, you might want to use the side door. with all the snow dripping, then melting, then freezing, melting dripping, more snow...you get the idea. our front steps basically get worse every day. we've told our landlord, but only at the beginning. i feel bad telling her it's as bad as it is now--and seeing how it just keeps snowing, there's not much that can be done about it now.
our sink is a hot mess. the faucet has been dripping for months now. our landlord bought us this beauty:
but it's just been sitting in our house. in the box. can you install a faucet? please come visit me.
we also had some old water damage that was fixed recently. its wonderful to not have a big water stain on my ceiling anymore, but we were left with this:
so much for being done with painting. now we get to repaint these stripes :)
its ok really, and we actually told our landlord that we would repaint ourselves after she offered to have someone come in. it will be major motivation for us to paint our kitchen, which is still a lovely shade of olive green. bad news for the kitchen and the stripes (ok, and the coffee table)...when it's snowing outside, the last thing i want to do it paint. in fact, i just want to sit and watch a marathon of stupid movies on the lifetime channel.
Thursday, February 7, 2013
conversation at work today:
co-worker : bethany, i know you're not married because you're picky.
me : like, too picky? you're just telling me i'm picky?
cw : no, not too picky. but i know you won't shack up with the first person who tells you you're cute.
me : ok
remember that one time melissa left on her mission??
weird. that girl was ready to go into the mtc. i dont think she was quite as ready to give me her computer. (remember how generous she was to literally gift me her apple computer? ps...i need someone to show me how to use it)
she was brave. she is brave. and she'll be an excellent missionary. i laid in bed last night and thought about her first day in the mtc and then i thought about all of the lives she would bless. beb has a way of connecting with people. i know that she will make long lasting friends, build binding relationships and learn eternal lessons. i'm just plain excited for her.
plus, she gifted me all of her blessings from her mission. you heard me. any blessings my family might get for her serving a mission? she said they're reserved for me. "now go find your husband and then bring him over to thailand to pick me up"
okay, okay.....twist my arm.