frustrated.

i am frustrated with alot of things right this very second. don't get me wrong, i had a fabulous saturday...but it's funny how it can all hit you at once. i've been easily frustrated as of late. i hate this. my solution? avoid. avoid confrontation. avoid pretending i think you're funny when you're not. avoid awkward run-ins. avoid having to smile at you when i don't want to. okay, that was rude.
is this healthy? no. do i know how to change it? i think so. is it working? slowly but surely. very slowly. so if i've avoided you...don't take it personally.
this might be the reason why i spent 4 out of the five evenings this week with family members. this might be why i ran away to my sisters house for a fun filled saturday full of cleaning and organizing. i love my family, and i don't have to pretend. well, honesty this issues aren't with them, so they are the perfect escape.
i got home tonight and did the few things i had to before heading to bed...and then i saw the little slip saying i'd failed my cleaning check. icing on my cake. and that's when i came to my room and cried myself to sleep. okay, not to sleep. just cried.
i know what you're thinking. waah waah. suck it up. and you're right. this is not a pity post, and i'm not looking for comments to boost my self esteem and have you tell me everythings gonna be alright. i just needed to get this off my chest.
and now that it's 12:30 and for some strange reason i can't fall asleep (even though i'm insanely tired), i'm going to soak in a hot bath.
so there.