let me tell you something...

life is hard.

today was a rough day. i've got alot on my mind. i could say i'm mad about alot of things. i could say i'm very emotional. i could talk about how much i hate losing confidence in myself, and how much i hate losing confidence in others. i could say how much i dislike mondays at work. i could say how much i don't look forward to early tuesday morning meetings. i could talk about how frustrating it is that boys lose weight faster than girls without really trying. i could say how much i hate the idea of losing a friend. i could say that i really hate cottage cheese plain. i could say things about boys, period. i could complain about the price of gas and how i feel like all i do is fill up my car. i could whine about how cold it is, and how running outside gives me the black lung. at the end of it all, i could just cry.
don't worry, i already did. it's days like today i'm grateful for friends who are aware. notice when i'm quiet or reserved and call just to say they love me. thank you, that's just what i needed. and then i went and ran my bum off. i tend to have a better run when i'm a bit angry, so i guess it served it's purpose.
and after i take a hot shower and hop into bed, i'll be able to lay here and think. think how even though there's hard stuff, disappointments, and upsets...there is alot to be grateful for. grateful for family, friends, good roomates, food to eat, a healthy body, a bed to sleep in, a car to drive, a job where i work with great people, temple blessings, and even though i may not recognize it now....confidence in myself. confidence to achieve anything, be anything, do anything. i can make a difference for good.

ok. i promise next post will be something fun and a little more light hearted :)