dear bethany,

• remember how you bought that gym pass? you should probably use it.
• why is it so hard for you to hang up your clothes? just a reminder that your mother is coming into town and will most likely be at your house sometime. and she knows about the trick where you hide your clothes under your comforter (which i thought i blogged about earlier, but was obviously too embarassed to do on the "public" blog). i better get to workin.
• don't send that text message. just don't.
• remember how the neighbors car was stolen on monday....right from the front of their house in the light of day? please remember to keep important things out of the car, because with my luck, my car will be next.
• never name your child jim bob.ever.
• you have an ice problem. at you don't eat rocks, or cornstarch, or toilet paper. but still.
• last summer, you had foil dinners on a regular basis. this summer you haven't had any. that needs to change. soon.
• go to bed.

ps. this post was supposed to be cool. i was going to do a cool 500th post. then i forgot, so i told myself i would do a cool 550th post. well, that came and went. what's cooler than a cool 555th post?  everything, because this is it, and it's pretty lame. hmm.