you've got mail

"Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life - well, valuable, but small - and sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around? I don't really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. So good night, dear void."


you've got mail was on tv today. sometimes i like to think i'm a little bit like kathleen kelley. i feel like my life is pretty simple. it's easy to look around at others lives and wonder if i haven't been brave. i see people buying plane tickets to exotic places. training for races in warm sunny places. posting pictures of their new baby that they "just can't get enough of". buying houses. being promoted at work. taking trendy pictures on instagram and posting them with witty comments.


you know that part in the movie when after she closes the bookstore and she sits in her jammies on the floor and eats her cereal? when she's trying to figure out what she's done with her life up to that point and what she's going to do next? i'm at no such crossroads, but i still find myself having that thought process. what have i done. what's in my future. 


just like kathleen, i'm not really wanting an answer. just putting this out into the void.


so good night, dear void.

Y oh Y

I moved to provo two months before my 18th birthday. I wasn't the smartest 17 year old, hence the vow i made to myself that i would never hike the Y. maybe because everybody was doing it? i don't know the reasoning behind my 17 year old iron-clad promise...but either way, i'm not one to break promises.

until i realized it was stupid, and hiking the Y was put on my 30 before 30 list. i was a little nervous. i heard it was steep, and i know how much i hate the stair stepper at the gym. I'm happy to report that WE DID IT!!!

Ryan, Halie and Beb were very patient with my (and my bad hip...how old am i?!?!?) we hiked it at night since it was lit for graduation. it was the perfect temperature. perfect company. and felt dang good to finally check off my list :)

i dont care what you say, but my brother ryan is one of the funniest people i know. either that, or he knows my sense of humor so well that anything he does is funny to me. when i showed up to the hosue before the hike he had made a pile of supplies. rope. headlamps. knives. hatchett. gun. and fishing pole. seriously.

ok, so we only took water, headlamps, and flashlights.

so, see ya later #7. it felt very good crossing you off.

the "cleanse"

remember that 7 day diet/cleanse i told you about? easy peasy, right? only 7 days. i can do it! i've had several people doing this with me, and everyone is having slightly different results, and each day is different for every person.
today is day 6. i had chicken for breakfast. i want to kill someone. several days this week i've woken up with a headache. i feel hungry. alot. long story short, it's been a hard week. yesterday more than anything in the world, i just wanted a churro. i almost caved, but then laura made a lovely dinner of chicken. so i held out for one more day. will i be having cabbage soup tomorrow? i'm just not sure.
i'm not trying to keep you from doing this little week of goodness. really, not all days were bad. i'm just a wimp. and i hate tomatoes. and i want an egg.

just to catch up a bit....

i went home for easter. it was such a quick but wonderful weekend. saturday morning we woke up and went on a nice little hike in the nice las vegas weather.

i already posted this picture on facebook, but i'm just so happy with how our little eggs turned out. we followed the instructions from our best bites on how to silk dye eggs. we actually ended up hollowing them out so we wouldn't have to chuck them after all of our hard work

this picture probably deserves a post of its own. my dearest friend lyric got married on thursday, and i was so lucky to be a part of her day. all day long i couldn't help but be grateful to have such good people in my life. lyric and i are the type of friends that can go for a time without talking or seeing eachother, but when we meet up it's like no time has passed.  her family is incredible, and they literally treat me like i'm family. so kind. so welcoming. so grateful. so accommodating. it was so fun to see them again and watch their family interact. i couldn't help but think all day about how lucky i am to associate with such wonderful people in my life. it might sound stupid, but i'm so proud of lyric and cade for being married in the temple. there are so many other "options" these days. so many different routes to take. these two did everything right. what great examples to me and a great reminder of the blessings that are available to those who worthily marry in the temple.

after the reception, i stopped by to see frank of course. what would a trip to provo be without seeing frank?!?

look out for an upcoming post. we took some pictures for my cousin this weekend. engagement pictures. maybe you can vote on which ones you like the best??

update: this was actually my post from yesterday that i didn't post until today. day of the diet was hard. until it wasn't. i ate (cold) chicken for breakfast and then headed out to take pictures for my cousin. at 2:0 when i realized i was getting light headed because i'd only eaten cold chicken, cousin took me out for a salad at paradise bakery. and then i ate a half of a cookie. and then i had a bowl of lucky charms for dinner. judge me if you must.  so the question is.....will i do the miracle soup today?? probably not. i won't eat like a crazy person, but i will not eat miracle soup. i hope this doesn't deter you from doing the diet. you'll do great!! i still had alot of success with it....and you are stronger than me, so you'll be fine :)

this city

this is long overdue.

once upon a time i went on a trip with friends.

circle friends.

we took videos on this app on my phone, and i'm just barely doing something with it. whoops.

fyi---this week a few friends and i are doing this.

i'm trying to be optimistic. 

and stay busy. 

and i'm NOT looking forward to friday. i hate tomatoes. 

lessons learned

• today i learned the difference between express mail and priority mail. it's about 40 dollars. duh.
• last week i learned i run like a 15 minute mile. that has to change, right? or my half marathon will never end....seriously.
• gambling is a waste of money. ok, so maybe i had a ticket (or 10) for the last mega-million lottery. long story, i won 69 cents. (i lost $9.31)
• i learned that clothes don't launder themselves. and then they don't hang themselves up either. it's a pity, really.
• this weekend i learned that my brother got a great job offer...which means he is taking his wife and baby frank to indiana. you read that right. indiana. sad.
• i also learned that other brother got a job in slc and is moving up here with wifey and soon to be baby girl. happy.
• regardless of how old or mature i think i am, i still do stupid things.  

ok fine.

i accidentally left my blog address in the history on a computer at work. lucky me, one of my favorite residents found it. the same resident that i worked up when he came in for his lasik screening and on his survey wrote that he appreciated my "soft touch". i'm still getting razzed about that by other technicians.
and now he checks my blog. he showed up in clinic and asked me why i hadn't updated my blog over the weekend....that he'd been checking all weekend. for some reason i don't believe him completely, but here i am....updating my blog.

remember my 30 before 30 list? i get to cross something off tomorrow. "#12 send a letter to someone in the mail". even better, i've put together a package. who gets it? wouldn't you like to know. i guess you should check your mailbox in a few days. you may be the lucky winner.

i get to go home this weekend. vegas. sun. family. and my own bedroom. i don't know why that's such a big deal. i have my own  room at my house now, but there's something about going home and staying in my room.  maybe because it doesn't happen very often?? remember how easter isn't really about candy anymore? i'm not even getting an easter basket this year. my mom did offer to get me a new easter dress, which i haven't done for myself in years. don't worry, i got it today. and i love it. but of course, now i need shoes. dang it. i'm excited to be at home, spend time with family and go to church on easter sunday with my family.  maybe if i'm lucky, harry reid will be there :)

and in case you forgot, i could watch the movie "the proposal" one million times and it will never get old.

bold beth

i have a horrible memory of sitting in a circle in elementary school and the teacher telling us to all choose a word that started with the same letter of our name...and that we were going to go around the circle and share. "cool carlie, radical ryan, happy heather. maybe it was my lack of vocab, but i could never think of a word that started with a "b" that i could put in front of my name that didn't sound ridiculous. i would get embarrassed and when the teacher would get to me, i would tell her that i couldn't think of any.

"how about beautiful bethany"

exactly what i was trying to avoid. i had actually thought of that, but i thought beautiful was a word that adults used to describe eachother. kids weren't beautiful, and not that i was self-loathing, but i didn't think that i was "beautiful". heaven knows i wasn't going to introduce myself to my class that way. 

"ok" i whispered with a shrug of the shoulder. it was weird for me to be quiet or embarrassed. i was a pretty happy and rambunctious kid (don't believe me? you should watch home movies. then again...maybe not)

well, here i am twenty-something years later looking at another "b" word in front of my name that i never would have pictured.  bold beth?? hah. it's almost humorous. but guess what, i did two bold things this week. they both might come back to haunt me, but i did them. i was brave. i went out of my comfort zone. and i'm proud of myself. 

want to know what one of them was?? 

i signed up for the utah valley half marathon.

it's ok if you just laughed a little bit. i did...after i had a slight panic attack. i just paid money to run a race. alot of money. a new pair of shoes money. to run. 

this is kind of how i feel after paying tuition or buying textbooks for a new semester. "i don't even like school, but i just paid money to sit in a classroom and read this textbook. i don't even like to read, why would i want to read this textbook???"

the last time i signed up for a race was when my work put together a ragnar team. work paid for our registration fee. and i was training for my legs...kind of. my heart wasn't in it and i was scared to death i would let my team down...until i was diagnosed with swine flu a week before the race and my doctor told me i couldn't run. too bad so sad.

i would not consider myself a runner. i wouldn't even say i like running.

but i do like the way running makes me feel. so here we go. bold beth is looking for a training schedule that will get me to *finish* my race. i'm not looking to complete it in a certain amount of time, just before time runs out. 

do you have any suggestions on where to find an simple training schedule for beginners?