hey there

so i haven't really been blogging lately. i know it's stupid to say i've been busy, even though i have been.
icing on the cake (no pun intended) i've been on a pretty strict meal and exercise plan. i'm part of a competition at work...and it's a pretty big deal. it's exciting, and i like the structure. but let's be clear...there is no cake. no cookies. no homemade banana bread. there's not alot of things. but i'm happy with my menu, and it's been getting me to the gym with my brothers, which i love. tonight was the test. i made dinner for the fam tonight, and i wasn't allowed to eat any of it. spaghetti. french bread. strawberry shortcake. sounds good, eh? i can't complain. i get a 1/2 cup of cottage cheese at 9.
this weekend is conference. I always look forward to conference, and i'm a little bummed i have to work on saturday. i look forward to sunday. church in your pajamas? sign me up.

i still feel like i have alot of unanswered questions in my life. lately, i'm trying to tell myself that's okay. i don't have to have all the answers all the time.

ps. i got to talk to my grandparents tonight. i love them. i'm excited to see them this weekend :)

dont judge me. i have been listening to this on repeat today. it's also my ringtone. i know he's like 12, but cut me some slack.... please?? (yes steve, that means you.)

st. george, we love thee

The last couple times I’ve been to St. George have been with friends, so it was fun to finally go there to play with my family. Beb had a softball tournament, so we all make the trek for a weekend o fun at the cottage. Peace, love and 4 wheelers.

what? we went to the gym, ya know...just to work out. well, i had to go to the gym and my family was nice enough to join me. it was so much fun...and my brothers are buff, just a warning.

the main reason for us going: beb's tournament. her team won the whole she-bang! it was so fun to see her with her teammates and out on the field. 3 softball games, 2 4-wheeler rides, a trip to the pool, and a session at the gym in one day wore me out.

the whole clan (minus kev...we missed you!!)

twas a fun trip.

st. george, again, did not disappoint.

(ps...don't we all look sun-kissed? yes, yes we do.)

just like a tattoo

i am a tattooed woman.

one of four.

this is what happens after two games of bowling and NOT breaking 100. so close, yet so far away. (it was our work ugly bowling party..hence my red sleeping glasses and my gem of a pink shirt. and don't worry, it's only a rub on tattoo...i think)

i'm off tonight. weekend in st. george with my lovely family. 70 degrees. softball tourney. 4-wheelers. late night chats with the fam. did i mention sun and 70 degree weather?

plus, i bought a magic bullet. which is magic.

ps. did you know that after today there are only 3 more fridays left in tax season?? just saying...

Goodbye, March 15th....

Hello April 15th.

It's not as much fun to say goodbye to a deadline when you have another one right on it's heels.

things i will be blogging about in the near future:

• moving
• st george
• moving again (yeah, i'll kind of be moving twice..or thrice, however you want to look at it)
• the ultimate competition of death (what was i thinking??)
• job hunt
• bowling
• LOST

tonight is a celebration, for alot of reasons. #1 lost night #2 lost/last supper #3 i don't have to be at work before 8 am tomorrow (which after tuesday morning meetings at 7:30...is a cel.e.bra.shun.)

bethany, how much do you owe on your credit card??

Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Zhero. Zip. Zippo. Zot.

ahhhhhhhhhh....what a good feeling.

motivated

today i decided i needed to go running. not that i wanted to go, but that i needed to go. i came home from a long day of work not feeling too hot. i put on my running clothes anyways. i decided to go running outside, and went on my way. it started to rain. i kept running.

when i got home, i felt like i had accomplished something.

i've been trying to be motivated in all aspects of life. i dont know that i've been succesful, but i'm trying....and i feel great about that. :)

Now I shout it from the highest hill.....

Ok. Here i am. perky and ready to blog. First, let me explain the clip and blog title. Calamity Jane, ever heard of it? We used to use this song when we were little to tease siblings about young love. now i use it with any secret.

here goes.

I'm moving to salt lake. this might not seem like a big deal to any of you, but this is a big deal. moving to salt lake requires me to quit my current job. i'm sad about leaving the people... i don't know how much i will miss taxes, especially right after tax season. squire has been a fantastic place to work.

Remember this post?? funny for me to read that now. I start working efy the first week of june. don't judge me. i'm very excited about it, and a little nervous at the same time. there's alot of changes that have been made to the program and i feel a little rusty. i'm super excited to work with a team again, meet new people and work with the youth. in short - i'm excited. really excited.

as you know, efy is a summer job. yes, that means i will be looking for work in slc come august. right now i have the mindset that i need to focus on tax season, and after April 15th i can start looking for work. do i know what i want to do? nope. i have a lot of ideas, but i haven't officially started looking.

there's still alot of unknowns. is that scary? you bet. am i doing it anyways? yes sir. am i excited for new things? new people, new roommates, new area, new ward, new job, new new new new new. YES. not that i hate provo. not that i'm too cool for provo...but i've been here a long time. i'm excited to be forced out of my comfort zone and try new things.

so, let the games begin.

"now my secret love's no secret....an-eeee-mooooorrree......"

let me tell you something...

life is hard.

today was a rough day. i've got alot on my mind. i could say i'm mad about alot of things. i could say i'm very emotional. i could talk about how much i hate losing confidence in myself, and how much i hate losing confidence in others. i could say how much i dislike mondays at work. i could say how much i don't look forward to early tuesday morning meetings. i could talk about how frustrating it is that boys lose weight faster than girls without really trying. i could say how much i hate the idea of losing a friend. i could say that i really hate cottage cheese plain. i could say things about boys, period. i could complain about the price of gas and how i feel like all i do is fill up my car. i could whine about how cold it is, and how running outside gives me the black lung. at the end of it all, i could just cry.
don't worry, i already did. it's days like today i'm grateful for friends who are aware. notice when i'm quiet or reserved and call just to say they love me. thank you, that's just what i needed. and then i went and ran my bum off. i tend to have a better run when i'm a bit angry, so i guess it served it's purpose.
and after i take a hot shower and hop into bed, i'll be able to lay here and think. think how even though there's hard stuff, disappointments, and upsets...there is alot to be grateful for. grateful for family, friends, good roomates, food to eat, a healthy body, a bed to sleep in, a car to drive, a job where i work with great people, temple blessings, and even though i may not recognize it now....confidence in myself. confidence to achieve anything, be anything, do anything. i can make a difference for good.

ok. i promise next post will be something fun and a little more light hearted :)