this email conversation really happened.

From: Tiffany
Sent: Tuesday, April 27, 2010 3:26 PM
To: Bethany
Subject: don't hate me for asking this

If you could eat anything in the world right now, what would it be? (besides a maple bar)
_____________________________________________
From: Bethany
Sent: Tuesday, April 27, 2010 3:32 PM
To: Tiffany
Subject: RE: don't hate me for asking this

Grilled cheese sandwich.
A cookie.
Chocolate.
Oreo ice cream.
Squash. Lots of squash.
And a roll.

_____________________________________________
From: Tiffany
Sent: Tuesday, April 27, 2010 3:37 PM
To: Bethany
Subject: RE: don't hate me for asking this

Cheese pull-aparts from The Pie.
Cookie dough.
Cookie dough ice cream.
Peanut M&M’s
Carrabba’s bread.
Vegas roll from Happy Sumo
Golden Graham/Marshmallow/smore thingys.
_____________________________________________
From: Bethany
Sent: Tuesday, April 27, 2010 3:39 PM
To: Tiffany
Subject: RE: don't hate me for asking this

Salt and vinegar chips
Pringles…oh it’s been so long….
Banana bread
Texas Roadhouse ribs
Sweet potato fries
Frosting.
_____________________________________________
From: Tiffany
Sent: Tuesday, April 27, 2010 3:42 PM
To: Bethany
Subject: RE: don't hate me for asking this

Melting Pot.
Brownies/hot fudge/ice cream
Sourdough bread
Doritos (specifically buffalo and ranch flavors)
Chocolate cake donuts (note the plural) from Dunford Bakery – sold at your nearest gas station
Costa vida dressing – with a straw

And my final response…..

Wingers sticky fingers doused in ranch
Doritos and cottage cheese. (heaven help me)
Butter rum lifesavers
Pizza.
Red velvet cake
Root beer popsicle
Rosemary flatbread from trio

ok ok...it was a moment of weakness for us both. i went running the last two nights. i'm trying to be motivated again. and greg, i might even try jillian. :)

it's your diet

that seems to be the answer to every woe i have these days. i sat with my trainer and told him i was tired and had no energy.

"it's your diet. i'll fix that"

with a few clicks of a button, he supposedly fixed my problem. so....if i'm tired, grumpy, have no energy, or no motivation....it's my diet.

my brother in law asked me if i was single because of my diet. i'll ask my trainer to tweak a few things, and we'll see. :)

i thought i was tired because i put in a little over 125 hours at work in 2 weeks. or because i completely moved in one weekend. and painted a room. and haven't been sleeping. but if he says it's my diet, i'll play along.

speaking of the diet....i'm getting burnt out. it's becoming very hard for me to find motivation to go running, let alone go to the gym. i know it's good for me. i know i feel good when i'm done. i know i'm supposed to do it for my competition that ends in 2 WEEKS.
but guess what. i don't care anymore. quite frankly....i want a doughnut.

ok, that's a lie. it's not that i don't care, but 8 weeks is a long time to be on a very strict diet. and yes, i've been very strict with myself. i'm sure there are some of you that are rolling your eyes and telling me to cry you a river. your wish is my command. when this is over, i might shed a tear or two. celebrate good times. and then eat a doughnut.

i get to go home this weekend. sun. hiking. sun. bike riding. sun. sleeping. sun. and family. life is good.

and i have my diet to thank for it....

heaven in my mouth

Today I ate a strawberry. Correction-- FIVE strawberries. It changed my life.

PS....I'm still in the lead in my competition!!

last night

I didn't sleep very well. Its getting too hot in my house, even with the window cracked. It will be nice to spend the summer with AC and fans. I am my fathers daughter, I guess.
I also woke up with a slight kink in my neck which makes me wonder what in the world I was doing in my sleep??

Here's to a better (and cooler) nights sleep.......

rewarded.

i went to lunch today with every intention of buying these shoes, and i did just that - with a pair of sperrys on the side. welcome summer. my feet are ready.

I survived.

I can't believe it's actually done. April 15th is a thing of the past....thank goodness.
Now I have to start focusing on other things, moving being numero uno. Can you believe i'm supposed to be out of the shack this weekend? you heard me right. THIS WEEKEND. it's ok. what's one more deadline, eh?
In case you're wondering, this past weekend was great. I ran away to slc and saw dearie friends that have been estranged these past few weeks. spent some time at megan and gregs, caught up on lost, frosted cookies at aunt barbaras, slept, babysat the cutest niece in the world, ran a few errands with scott, headed back to megans to gossip and plan my wedding (it's going to be beautiful by the way...). Sunday was perfect. Church, nap, rs fireside, ward prayer, vt, and then a fabulous visit from two brothers and a best friend. i love visits like that, when worlds collide...but in the good way, ya know? we could have all sat around and laughed for hours.
overall, it was a good catch up weekend. next weekend i move. the following weekend? las vegas. home again home again. and i can't wait :)
sun. home cooked meals (but not really because i'm still doing my competition), sun, pools, family, friends, sun. and beb's prom.
life is good.

curse you onstar...

So I've had a lot on my plate lately. You could say I'm stressed out. I've learned this past week that when I'm stressed, I tend to get a little "emotional". Let me explain:

I was driving to work this morning drinking my delicious orange julius protien shake, jammin' to the radio. A commercial came on, and if I haven't heard this specific
commercial before...I've heard a million others like it. It goes like this:
Car accident. People are hurt. Onstar contacts emergency services. Onstar stays on the phone with the customer while they wait for help to arrive, all the while being calm, cool, collected and offering onstar love and support.
Heard it before?? Great. Except not really. Today hearing the man say he couldn't feel his legs made me start to cry, and when the operator asked how his son was and a little sweet boys voice said "I'm ok" ...I lost it. The kind of whole body cry...or just mouth cry. I spewed a whole mouthful of orange juice protien shake. On the dash. On the windshield. Steering wheel. Pants. This is when I thought outloud..."get a hold of yourself, woman".
Today was a long day at work...like a 14 hour work day.I have two more like it lined up. I love april 15th, don't you?
So...if I don't return your calls, or come to your party, or go to the gym, or I do return your call and I'm short with you, or impatient, or just a stinker all around--- I'm sorry. I promise this is my last tax season. Until its over, ill just have to avoid the onstar commercials :)

you will die.

i don't care how bad of a mood i'm in, i could watch this any time of any day and just die laughing...like the uncontrolled tears rolling down my face laughing. yes, we watched it at work today. i love it.

noteworthy

dear bed,
i miss you. even when i am in you, i feel like i'm not enjoying you the way i should. i did not want to get out of you at 4:00 this morning. when i leave you, i just think about when i will see you again. other beds do not compare to you and your comfort.
i hope i get to see you sometime tonight.
love,
beth

dear work,
it's been real fun, but i'm over you. the long hours are not my style. overtime pay is great, and i love rubberband wars...but i don't like taxes. i know the deadline is coming, and i have no room to complain. thank you for providing friends for me to laugh with about silly things so that i can get through the day.
love,
beth

dear future,
i'd love to know what you are and what you have in store. until i meet you head on, best wishes.
love,
beth

dear boys,
i think about you sometimes and wonder how in the world i will ever find one of you to mesh with in that perfect way that we both want to be together - all. the. time. right now it seems impossible. i know that is not the case. i'm not giving up on you. i'll keep trying if you do.
love (the romantic kind, as my dad would say...),
beth

dear efy,
i am excited. i am nervous, and surprisingly intimidated a little bit. i think i'm the good kind of nervous - the kind of nervous that makes me work hard and do my very best. i am excited to teach and be taught. i'm excited to lead and be led. icing on the cake, i'm excited to live with grandma and grandpa. i'm counting down.
love,
beth

dear asian sensation,
you are a fantastic trainer. thank you for catering my menu to what i like. thank you for pushing me in the gym. i've decided i really don't like almonds. i'm afraid for you to pinch me tomorrow for specific reasons we will talk about. i'm not getting sick of tuna sandwiches yet, but if i eat chicken one more time i might lose my mind. telling you that is pointless when we both know i will be eating chicken for dinner for the next 4 weeks. can't wait for you to weigh me in and pinch my fat. see you at noon.
love,
beth

dear gym,
welcome to my life. i've actually enjoyed you. you give me a fantastic excuse to spend time with my brothers. i leave you feeling great. i even find myself more confident when i'm around you, which is new for me. as great as you are, you are definitely the reason my arms hurt, and my legs hurt. i think about you every time i walk up a flight of stairs and feel a little burn. see you in a couple days.
love,
beth

dear bethany,
i know life seems a little out of control right now, and that's ok. i know you have alot to do and no time to do it. you'll find the time. i know it seems a little bit like you are throwing everything in the air and you are hoping to be able to catch everything and make some sense of it. everything will work out. you have good people in your life that are here to encourage you to be happy and find success. you are happy. you will be happy. you are successful. you will continue to find success. keep on workin' hard. it will pay off in the end.
love,
beth

CONTROL.

Control is a funny thing. Last night I tried to control myself while I sat a watched an intramural basketball game with BYU Freshman ward 101 there to support the other team (oh the curses being said in my head…). I feel like I have control of my eating habits right now. I try to feel like I’m in control when it comes to boys. I do not have control of my work schedule right now, which is taking over my life (which I knew would happen, but still)

At the end of the day, I realize there is very little in my life that I have control over….and guess what: THAT’S OK.

One thing I do have control of is my attitude, and I’ve learned that no matter the situation – good or bad – my attitude can make a difference…which in a tricky way gives me a sense of control. I love working the system. I also have a theory that control and confidence work hand in hand. We can talk about that another time…but I’d love to hear your thoughts on the subject.