I am a people pleaser.

and i need to stop. i figure it's got to be just as easy as quiting smoking, or going on a non-sugar diet...which basically means i will be like this for the rest of my life.
i've had a few good chats about this with a few close friends. it always ends in tears...and no cure. i've been told to take what other people think as constructive critisim. take it, make myself better, and then throw out the rest. i will never make everyone happy, so in the end (as selfish as it sounds) i've got to make sure that I am happy.

alot easier than it sounds.

until then, you let me know if you need anything.

am i becoming "that person"????

yes, i'm afraid i am. i used to be the prompt response texter, call you back before i listen to the voicemail kind of person. and lately, i can't seem to keep on top of it. an it's not like i have soooooo many calls that i can't keep up with it. i've just gotten lazy in my social life.

bethany : raise your right hand. now slap yourself.

i am having to motivate myself to call people back and be social. what?!?!? so not like me. no. i'm not in a state of depression. i'm not waahh waaahh about anything. i think i am starting to see the value in spending time with myself. alone time = good.

i had a friend say he wanted to get a big group of people together and do something this weekend. great. what is it about big crowds that is a turn off for me right now? i don't know. this past week, i was able to spend quality time with quality people, and i loved it. i love the conversations you can have in small groups. golden.

don't get me wrong. i love big parties, and just a heads up, we will be having one when we move back in the shack and it will ROCK. YOUR. WORLD. you're all invited. i just find myself getting so distracted and not being able to give one person the quality attention they deserve. not that everyone is dying for a little attention from me, but if i invite them to my house, i like to welcome them by showing my apprecation for their company.

bottom line. i love my friends. i love the quality time. lunch dates, trips to the temple, saturday afternoon movies, late night frozen yogurt. and trips. trips to everywhere and anywhere.

ps. did i tell you i'm planning a few trips and they will be absolutely STELLAR?!?!? nothing like a good travel buddy to an awesome destination. watch out world (or southern utah...) we're coming!!

(this post is also supposed to clear my mind about not calling you back. did i not call you back?!?!? i'm sorry. it's not that i'm trying to avoid you. i am just trying to recover from this state of flakiness. please love me anyways. and if i called you back???? you're welcome.)

say yes to the dress

so, i bought my dress to wear for my brothers wedding. i am very excited about it, even though i spent more money on it that i probably should have. it's something i can wear again, so i'm pleased.
until i ordered it online and the estimated shipping date was july 7th. i'm sorry, but i thought large franchise stores put sizes available online because they had them hanging on a rack in the back room. sounds like they're making mine from scratch.
i don't know what i was thinking about last night when i went to bed...and this just goes to show you that i may watch too many crime solving shows on tv, but i dreamt that my dress was somehow laced with drugs and that's why it was taking so long and cost so much.
i woke up. remembered my dream and shook my head. impossible.....or is it??

either way, it's ordered. let's hope it fits when it finally graces my prescence and that it fit's in well with what everyone else is wearing. ps...it's chocolate brown, and now i'm wondering what shoes to wear with this beauty. sometimes being a girl is so hard....

hmmmmmm.....interesting......

life is.....interesting.

interesting the people you meet. the people you become friends with. the people you work for.

the things you enjoy. the things you avoid. the things that are awkward. the things that give you the "uh oh" feeling.

the time wasted. the things you take for granted. the relationships you cherish.

interesting how paths cross. how worlds collide. and how certain people are there to help you put things back together again.

interesting the people you miss when they are gone. the people you don't. and those special people who try your patience.(blah)

where you travel. where you live. who you live with.

timing. i was told again tonight that it's all about timing. do you know how many times i've gotten my hopes up hearing that single word? timing. i agree. timing is tricky. timing is interesting. i hate timing.

life is interesting. it's easy for me to look at other peoples lives and be grateful for mine. it's just as easy for me to look at other peoples lives and be slightly covetous. (dang it....)
what?? you just passed the bar and you're going to propose to your fiance, all while being independently wealthy? well, congratualtions.

i don't mean for this post to come across as angry or bitter. i've just had some time to think lately, and that means i try to figure out the purpose for things happening the way they happen. i know there's a purpose. the ducks will line up eventually. the shack brings good luck.

interesting....

oh, now you've done it....

okay. i know i've been accused of being obsessed with my phone. hear me out. i switched back to my old phone. today i tried to make calls on that baby, and NO ONE COULD HEAR ME.

what did i do? i drove to the store. and switched back to my old phone. old phone being my blackberry.

i have to admit. the other day i walked into an office at work and heard the little message beep from a blackberry on the desk...and it made me miss mine. and now here i am. back in the saddle again.

...i'm such a sucker....

my best friends wedding

you heard right. my best friend is getting married.

August 21, 2009.

the ending of an era.

can't wait for him to start this new phase of life. love halie. let the games begin.

visitors welcome.

if you dare.

infected

i love when i tell people that i have the swine flu....and most of them get paranoid and all the sudden think they are sick.

what are your sypmtoms?? oh my, well... my throat has been a little itchy lately. and i did have a headache yesterday. and i coughed this morning. do you think i have the swine flu?

#1. i am not a doctor and cannot diagnose you.
#2. thank you for sympathizing.
#3. it really just is the normal flu. i'm just more contagious that the normal flu. do i feel great? no. but i'm not dying.
#4. if i infected you....i'm sorry.

i had some friends come visit me this morning. they brought a mask for me. and i wore it. they sat on one side of the patio, and i sat on the other. with my mask on. and we talked. it was glorious.

cousin came over early afternoon. we went on a walk. with my mask on. there was a slight breeze and she was convinced that if i wore my mask and stayed "down wind" that she would be okay. she stayed a good 2 steps ahead of me the whole time, but it was wonderful. wore me out, but wonderful.

all of these good people, risking their lives for my sanity. am i losing my sanity? maybe. i would love to be getting alot of stuff done. little projects here and there. they all require me to be outside. around people.
instead i'm hanging out in my apartment. nothing is on tv, and i never thought i would say this, but facebook is getting old. barf. i should have hopped in the car and gone home for a few days to have my mom nurse me back to health. too late now.

any good movies in the redbox??

satan's flu

aka: SWINE FLU

fun huh? i can't go back to work till monday. i'm takin my medicine. i don't have a remote for my tv, so i've scooted my couch up close so i can change channels with my toes. i bought a box of creamies, and i'm catchin up on my tv.
icing on the cake, they're looking to find a replacement for me for the Ragnar race...which is scheduled for next weekend. i was not looking forward to that race, and told everyone i needed to have something amputated or catch the swine flu so i wouldn't have to run.

be careful what you wish for, folks.

happy june.

tonight. we bbq'd.

it was good.

and we broke a wishbone. guess who's wish is comin' true, baby. you guessed it....

tonight.

glorious. got home from work. overcast. went for a run. came home and showered. had a lovely visit from megan and greg. took a hot shower. cut up a whole bowl of strawberries. opened my windows and listened to the rain....and caught up on the bachelorette.

as milly would say from seven brides for seven brothers: wonderful, wonderful day...

4 days

yes. four days. only four days until i'm reunited with the person NOT in this picture....but should be. saturday was ali's bridal shower, and we were missing cindy. it was fun to chat with linds and em....sugar shack for LIFE. it was a pleasant reunion. i am very excited for the festivities this weekend. ali will be gorgeous. the st. george weather will be perfect. and cindy will be there. :)

after the shower we went on a little hike up to bridal veil falls. really, it wasn't a hike. it was more like a stroll on a little paved path up the canyon...but it was a beautiful day. i'm really glad the girl taking our picture was nice enough to ask if i wanted a second picture( after she'd taken a wide shot ) "do you want one with the falls in it??"
well....we are at the falls. (duh) we might at well get them in the picture to prove that we were here (duh). so after all was said and done, i'm glad she got my feet and the pavement in the picture...and the bottom of the falls. hmmmm. thanks though.

after our "hike" we went to the park for peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and to play catch. it was a perfect day...a little cloudy with a cool breeze. the park was wonderful, and i even got to feed baby em her bottle. that is not a real smile...i thought it would be silly enough that it would be obvious it was not real, but it kind of just looks really crooked. special.

ps. ali is all moved out and into her new house. weird. thats all. weird.