watch out, june

guess what. i went to the gym today. even better, i didn't feel completely out of place. it's different than going to gyms in provo where girls show up with make up on and boys go there to find their date for saturday night. the person on the treadmill next to me was a grandpa. yes, he was running while i was walking (very fast paced, mind you) and i was ok with that. it feels good to be back in the saddle.

i've been thinking alot over the past week. i've seemed to be in a bit of a funk lately. i'm afraid it's because i'm a people pleaser. i'm afraid it's because i've been putting other peoples well being before my own. i afraid it's because i was more worried about everyone else being happy, and not me being happy. some people are really good at living that way. it's very selfless and very Christlike when done in the correct way. i'm afraid i was a little off balance....leaving me pretty darn lonely and just plain down in the dumps at times. i was allowing things and people determine my worth. duh. i know better.

so guess what. cast off the shackles of yesterday. (thank you mary poppins) june is my month. i'm focussing on me. beth will be a happy camper, and not because i'm planning on being totally self absorbed, but because i am going to be aware of my feelings. my worth. and then i will find that balance.

i'll work out. every day.
i'll study for my exam.
i'll spend time with people i love.
i won't waste time watching stupid tv.
i'll be outside as much as possible.
and gosh dang it, i'll get a pedicure.


oh yeah, and i'll get my eyes lasered.

you betcha

today was wild and crazy.

i woke up - with a headache - so i was basically ready to lay around all day and do nothing while i healed from a weekend of rain and cold. i chatted with my roommate while she packed her bags. she's leaving for 2 weeks for work, so that means i have to upstairs to myself.
when my headache finally went away, it started to rain. there went my idea to go to the park. i was still not motivated to clean. or switch my laundry over (whoops, i actually just remembered that. i better go do that). or go grocery shopping.
it stopped raining, so i decided to leave the house. i went to the grocery store to buy a card. and then i had the grand idea that i needed a new pair of shoes. so i headed to nordstrom rack. they didn't fail me and i bought a new pair of black pumas. i am going to wear them to work tomorrow.
after my shoes i stopped off at mcdonalds for some ice. yes, i realize it's becoming a problem, but at least i'm not eating couch cushions or comet. and i officially checked with them, and my ice refills are free if i go inside and fill it up. boo yah.
and now i'm catching up on some tv shows. i just realized that with my cable i can "catch up" with my on demand thingy. fancy that.
did i mention that while i was "catching up", i signed up for a gym membership? it's true. here's to hoping i don't fall of the treadmill  :)

yes. i'm watching sister wives.

i feel bad for my left eyebrow.

sometimes my eyebrows get a little out of control. wowzuh. they finally get to a point where they can no longer be ignored. sometimes my glasses cover up the maddness, but guess what...i'm getting rid of those, remember? my right eyebrow is easier, being right handed and all. let's be honest, by the time i finish my right eyebrow, my heart's just not in it anymore. my left brow is never done quite as well as the right.

i just got home from dfc. it was cold. it rained. but it was still a rockin good time. with the rain, we did wrap things up a little earlier than usual. i won't lie that i was really happy to shed those smokey clothes and hop into a hot shower.

so now, i'm all clean. the smokey clothes are in the washer. and i smell like a normal person. i'll post pictures of my stellar weekend when i get them, but for now i'll post the one picture i have on my phone. yes, it's from the dance. you know you're jealous :)

so so many

finales.
it's starting to wear me out.
greys anatomy.
private practice.
american idol.
biggest loser.

oh yeah, and remember how oprah is over....forever???

i had to watch her last show. i almost felt like i had to watch it. just like i felt i had to watch the royal wedding. i mean, i wanted to watch it, but now i can tell my children someday "i watched the royal wedding" and "i watched oprahs last show ever". kind of the same, right?

confessions

straight from the horses mouth.

• my ankles like to retain water when they are sunburned. fancy that. if you don't know what i'm talking about, click here and then imagine about 94% not that bad....and you'll see in your mind what i'm too lazy and self concious to take a picture of and post on the blog.
• now that i'm on the surgery schedule, i'm a little nervous about my lasik. i know it will be fine. i know my doctor is incredible. i know that i'm going to love it. it's just so....permanent.
• ok fine. i actually care enough about oprah that i feel the need to watch her last few shows. let me rephrase that. i guess i'm curious enough to see what in the world will happen that i feel the need to watch her shows. it's kind of like the royal wedding....i just want to be able to say that i watched it.
• i am really ready for summer to get here. i love the rain, but not every day for lots of days. i love me a good and random summer thunder storm...key word there being summer. please, sunshine. come and stay....for keeps.
• i swear i got rid of alot of clothes. for some reason i still find myself having lots and lots of clothes. i started packing up some on my long sleeved winter things tonight and realized that i may have a cardigan obsession. ok. i have a cardigan obsession.
• sometimes i wish some of my male friends were actually girls. does that make sense?
• i need some sort of motivation to start a summer exercise something. i haven't even decided what i want to do. i think i need a walking buddy. someone to walk around and around sugarhouse  park with me and unload the latest juice. then maybe we can graduate to running. then i need to sign up for a race. which all sounds great and wonderful, but right now it's really easy to come home from work and watch oprah and then eat dinner and then get tired and study and watch svu and then blog and then call and friend and do a load of laundry...and basically, not exercise. stupid.
• i went to fhe tonight. by myself. as outgoing as i am, i still find it not extremely fun to show up places by yourself...especially if you don't really know everyone there. be brave little piglet.

the last unicorn

do you remember that song? my mom had a kenny loggins cd that we would listen to when i was younger. i always hated the last unicorn. but for some reason i used that phrase every so often in normal conversation. usually it's at work when we're getting down to the end of our schedule, i tend to refer to the last patient of the day as the last unicorn. i was going to blog today about my first sunburn of the summer, and it made me think of the last unicorn....i think the last unicorn makes a much better post title than the first sunburn. would you agree?

once again, the weekend went by a little too quickly. friday night i headed down to utah county and got to see this little bug:

melissa and i got to visit ali and perris in the hospital with brand new baby who was not evey one day old. man alive, is there anything better than brand new babies? i don't think so. it was so fun to sit and visit with my friends and so fun to see them as new parents. congrats guys! you make cute babies.

after hospital, beb and i headed up to whits house for a sleepover. it had been a long week, and i'm afraid i was pretty boring. saturday we woke up to head to soccer games and then back to whits again to assemble a swing set. my brothers came up to join...and the assembly project that i thought would take 2 hours top turned into a 6 hour ordeal. i'm happy to say there is a functioning swing set in my sisters backyard.

so much time outside yesterday = my first sunburn of the summer. and then it rained today. such is life, right?

i'm now counting down the days till next weekend. davis family campout. a weekend with family, camping, star gazing, campfires, dutchoven cooking, afternoon naps, and church outside. only 5 more days...

i can make it.

I hate the zoo

One time I went on a blind date. He knew I worked at the Moran. I knew the date was going south when that's all he had to talk about. (well, I knew the date was pointing in the south direction when we showed up at the zoo) That's when he told me he was a patient with "Dr. So and so" being treated for "such and such".

Today I actually learned about "such and such".

Wow. I'm realizing now that he shouldn't have shared such information on a date... If he was trying to won me over, anyways.

looking back now, maybe he was trying to sabotage the date from the very beginning.

Well, it worked.




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I feel rich

I took my car in today. Remember when I got rear ended like 2 months ago? I officially deposited my check today and then dropped my car off to get fixed...and get my windows tinted. I'm a little excited about it. Tinted windows just in time for summer? I'm almost giddy.
My cousin is fixing my car for me. He is golden and making my whole car issue a non-issue. If you ever need a car guy, let me know.

I scheduled surgery today. In a month and a half, I'll be glasses free. My dad will hate this, but I'll probably get Plano lenses in my newest frame. I get so many compliments on them, I just can't help it.

Not that you need to know the details of my finances, but I feel rich.... "feel" being the key word, but still.

Big money.


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What do you do when you don't have a blanket?



Make a blanket out of pillows. You better believe my chilly legs are hiding under those cute pillows.

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Second wind

Most people like second winds. I would say for the most part I like second winds. I just don't like them when they're at 3:42 in the morning. My computer just died and the charger is in the front room, so I'm blogging from my phone. Is there such a thing as a lazy second wind? Maybe.

I like this picture:







Mostly because I like these people. Remember how I got beef jerky in my Easter basket? Classic.

How do you feel about being brave? And what do you think the difference is between being brave and being bold? Or is there a difference at all? And sometimes do you ever ask yourself,"why do I have to be the brave one?"

Sometimes I text people when I'm not fully coherent. This usually gets me into trouble. Tricky thing is, it's probably some of the most honest texts you'll ever get from me. If you really want to know how I feel about something, text me late at night. I've been known to respond. Consider yourself warned.

Families are great things. The more I open up to my family and involve them in my life, the more I'm made aware of how much they love and care about me. Not many girls can call their brothers for a shoulder to cry on lucky me, I've got 5 brothers, 4 sisters, 2 parents and a partridge in a pear tree. Can't wait for family campout. In my mind, memorial day weekend can't come soon enough.



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today

was special.
it all started when i woke up with a headache.
and then showed up 15 minutes late to my 7 am study session.
and then my clinic was cancelled.
someone at work today told me i was being cheeky.
i'll admit i was being a little sarcastic all day.
i did have some good one liners, though.

but let's be real.
a few good things happened today.
like talking to cindy on the phone.
and talking to my mom on the phone.
and looking at way too many of my brothers gorgeous engagement pictures.
and remembering i have an hsa account with money in it.
and 5:00.
and leftovers.
and the chocolate i'm about to go buy at the store.
and this song:



well, lookie there. looks like there were more good things than bad. i knew blogging was a good idea.

(also good things are going to happen...like scriptures and an early bed time. glorious.)

coral

 never looked so good.

give me another month, and i'll have another post like this...only black.

can't wait for nathan and caitie's big day!

mother

happy mothers day, mom.
i know i shouldn't be suprised how my relationship with my mom has evolved. she is a good friend, but still seems to manage to maintain her role as my mother. she knows when to give advice, when to sit back and be supportive. she always has a craft to work on, or something to cook in the kitchen.
i've learned so much from my mom. how to change diapers, make cookies, wash clothes, make beds. i'm beyond grateful for the interest my mom took in her children. of all the jobs in the world, i know my mom would have chosen to be a mother. she's a natural. she loves it, and it's evident in how she tends to her children and their needs.

love love love you, mom. thank you for...everything!

a year ago today i got really good news.

like, really good.

it's so interesting how much can happen in a year.

it makes me wonder what will happen in the next year.

whatever happens, it's nice to know that Heavenly Father has a plan for me.

comforting, right?

sunshine

today after work i hopped the fence and crossed the field to the parking lot to my car. did i ever tell you that the "field" is actually a frisbee golf course? if you're not careful, on a sunny day, you could get pegged. it was refreshing to have the sun out...and people out, for that matter. it put me in a good mood. i wanted to call someone...so i flipped through my phone. first call. no answer. left message (you better call me back...)
second call. answer. shocked. i was planning on leaving a message for my long lost friend/daughter. we both have busy schedules, but hers tends to actually be about 17 times busier than mine. i was thrilled to hear her voice and we chatted for about 30 minutes. i'm grateful for her. she's a good listener. knows just what to say. she's funny. and i know our friendship is the real kind...the kind that i dont have to talk to her often, but we can pick up like we saw eachother yesterday. we can ramble on about nothing, but seconds later ask the real serious questions. she had some good stuff to share with me today. little gems that made me think. made me realize a few things need to change. and when i hang up the phone with her, i think about how now i'm motivated to actually do those things. if she can do it, so can i. one of my favorite things about her is her secret blog. it's not really secret, but it's private. and she spills her guts on that blog. it's so refreshing (i'm sure you guys would love it....none of my "suggestive" or "secretive" posts. she puts it all out there) i wish i was brave enough to do that. once again, she makes me realize i can do things i didn't think i could do. short of the long...i was glad she answered her phone.

a few random thoughts to keep you going:

• i watched someone get botox today. i never want to get botox. ever.
• dancing to justin bieber in the shower is not a good idea. scratch that...dancing in the shower period is never a good idea.
• i need to go on a trip. not to st. george. further than that. i don't know where...but it needs to happen.
• i got my hair cut. it looks just the same as before, but get this - i can actually do it and have it look presentable. funny what a little shaping can do, eh?
• i had a great chat with grandma this week. i'm excited for mothers day when we can all go to grandmas and celebrate the great women in my life. there are so many. i'm lucky to have so many good examples.
• i made a list of goals today. i like doing that. i like looking back at past lists. i like seeing things crossed off of those lists.
• did you know i like white chocolate? probably better than milk chocolate. definetly better than dark chocolate.
• i want to see something borrowed. comes out on friday. hope it's not trashy.
• had a texting reuniting with a friend/old roommate this morning. i miss provo friends. remember how i said i miss provo friends but not provo? i wish they could all just move to salt lake. consider that an invitation.
• this sunday i'm going to my new ward since the stakes and wards were reorganized. it should be interesting. is it bad to request a calling that would ensure involvement in the ward? i miss being involved. bad.
• scott and joey are not in my new ward. at first i was sad about it, and now i'm ok with it. it will be good because in a weird way, we don't know how to socialize with eachother. don't get me wrong...us three = great....but it's weird when you haven't really interacted with big social groups together to throw that into the mix. i don't think i could ever flirt with someone in front of one of those boys. to them, i'm sweats wearing, cheeto puff loving, haircut giving, last minute trip to st. george, fantasy factory/jersey shore/bait car watching beth. and heaven knows, i'm not like that with the general public. so...i can go and be my presentable self, and leave the girl that falls asleep and drools on the couch thing behind.
• remember how i pay my rent by transfering money into my landlords bank account? see ya later, check writing. so easy. i love it.
• you can thank me later for this. it's no camp rock, but try it out. perfect summer jam.

self diagnosed.

ok, i'm hoping i'm not the only person with this problem. i obviously don't know the medical name for it...all i know is that it's got to stop.

dry nostril syndrome.

it's ruining my life. i can't blow my nose. i can't rub my nose. and let's get personal....i've been getting bloody noses at work. seriously.

the only time i feel like i have normal nostril is in a hot shower....but then it dries out again, and cracks, and bleeds. it's been this way for almost a month now.

please. help me stop the maddness.

Smarty pants

I got this in the mail the other day:




I'm very happy about it. Becoming certified at work is not fun for me. It requires studying, and practice tests... And real tests. I'm very happy to find out I passed my practice test, which just means I'm allowed to register to take the real test. I'm verrry nervous. My brain only seems to memorize lyrics to songs, and even then it's not 100%.
So, if you have any study tips, I'll be buying a few packs of 3x5 cards and reviewing anatomy of the eye while I catch up on greys.



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